There's nothing wrong with feeling lonely occasionally. Loneliness is an emotion that everyone experiences at different times throughout life. According to Gallup researchers, 17% of Americans reported feeling lonely the day before being surveyed. You might be surrounded by students all day, but educator loneliness is very real. Learning how to minimize and cope with being lonely is a powerful way to improve your wellbeing.
What is loneliness?
Loneliness is usually described as a sense of being alone in the world. It's not the same as social isolation, which happens when you are physically separated from others or barred from participating in group activities. Loneliness can happen even when you're surrounded by people.
Feeling lonely is a common experience for school employees. While you're constantly with students and aren't experiencing actual isolation, you can still feel very alone. This might be hard for friends and family to understand because they perceive that you're never by yourself. But your students aren't your peers or friends. It's important not to ignore or diminish your feelings of loneliness.
If you're dealing with constant feelings of loneliness and sadness, you might be suffering from depression. Education staff loneliness and depression often go hand in hand. Both are isolating and can negatively affect overall teacher wellbeing. It's a good idea to seek out help if you experience persistent loneliness or feel like you may be suffering from depression.
Understanding different types of loneliness
Just like you can feel lonely at different times in life, you can also experience different kinds of loneliness. Researchers often talk about 6 different types of loneliness, and understanding why you feel lonely can help you better cope. Remember that you can experience different types of loneliness at the same time.
Situational loneliness is the result of changing circumstances or needs. Both education staff and students experienced situational loneliness due to the COVID pandemic. It's also a common feeling during a significant change like moving to a new area or switching schools. It might take time to make new friends or feel comfortable, so you feel lonely. This type of loneliness generally lessens over time as you get used to your new situation.
Transient loneliness is fleeting. It's generally related to a temporary or minor situational change like taking on a new work role or going on leave. You initially feel isolated because you're adjusting to a different norm. Once you've become accustomed to the situation, your feelings of loneliness are likely to fade.
Chronic loneliness is triggered by an initial bout with situational or transient loneliness. People who are chronically lonely tend to feel more and more isolated as time goes on. These feelings of loneliness are sometimes made worse by financial, medical, or emotional distress.
Social loneliness happens when you feel that you don't have adequate connections to friends, family, or community. This type of loneliness can feel especially isolating to educators — you're surrounded by people all day, but making real friends is still hard. People who are shy or suffer from social anxiety are more likely to feel socially lonely.
Emotional loneliness happens either when you don't have a close relationship with anyone or you lose a partner or friend. People who are emotionally lonely tend to feel isolated even when they're with a group of peers. Emotional loneliness can also be rooted in trauma such as abandonment or parental neglect. It's important to reach out for help if you feel this type of loneliness on a regular basis.
Existential loneliness is characterized by the persistent feeling that neither life nor your relationships have any real meaning. Many educators experience this type of 'existential angst' when they're struggling to connect with others outside of work. It's also typical to feel existentially lonely when you're in the midst of a crisis or undergoing significant personal development.
How loneliness affects education staff wellbeing
Loneliness and isolation aren't just emotionally draining. They can also have a substantial impact on overall teacher wellbeing and health. In a recent survey conducted by Britain's National Association of Schoolmasters and Union of Women Teachers, 47.4% of teachers reported that they felt a lack of contact and connection with their colleagues negatively impacted their mental health. That's why it's so important to recognize and address loneliness when you feel it. Some of the most common effects of loneliness include:
- High blood pressure
- Weight gain
- Heart disease
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Cognitive decline
Increased substance abuse, addiction struggles, emotional eating, and sleep problems may also be connected to feelings of loneliness.
When teachers and school administrators feel lonely, they may withdraw from students and faculty activities. This makes educators feel even lonelier, leaving them to cope with difficult emotions on their own. This problem is exacerbated by a lack of understanding that friends and family may show towards a teacher's feelings of aloneness.
Tips and tools to combat education staff loneliness
No one likes feeling lonely. You want to feel a sense of connection and joy in the world. You also know that loneliness can negatively affect your wellbeing, and you want to fight back. Use these tips to combat loneliness and increase your wellbeing.
Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is the art of noticing and accepting the state of things, and then letting them go. When you practice mindfulness, you acknowledge that you feel lonely and start to consider the context of your loneliness. Try a yoga or meditation class to learn mindfulness. Identifying and evaluating feelings of loneliness are essential steps towards overcoming it.
Tell someone how you're feeling. If you have a trusted partner, friend, or family member, start by telling them that you're feeling lonely. You don't need to explain or apologize. Ask for their support. Having someone on your side will help you feel less lonely.
Join a club or social organization. Break the cycle of loneliness by joining a social group or organization that interests you. Perhaps you want to volunteer with a charity or join a book club. No matter what type of organization you attend, you'll have opportunities to meet new people and forge connections. You'll likely feel less lonely once you integrate with the group.
Take up a new hobby. Do you find yourself thinking about how lonely you are while you're scrolling on your phone or watching TV? Get out of your own head by taking up a new hobby. It will fill your time and may give you opportunities to network with others. Consider taking a hobby-oriented group class to learn a skill and meet new friends.
Look for a peer support group. It can be difficult for friends and family to understand why education staff feel lonely. If you feel like no one understands you, consider joining a peer support group for teachers. You can search for groups on social networking sites or ask other educators at your school if they know of local options. Connecting with supportive peers who understand what you're going through will help you feel less lonely. Working in education can feel isolating.
Above all, if you're struggling with loneliness, don't ignore your feelings - reach out for support to friends, colleagues or support services. It's a great time to sign up for your free Wellbeing toolkit. Your tool kit includes videos, and more to help you manage and improve your wellbeing.